The Final Straw

I know I'm doing it all wrong, in regards to this sleep thing.  We had a good system going, for a while.  Sure, there were bumps here and there, but we've now been on a two-month streak of terrible sleep.  For all of us. Because when the toddler isn't sleeping, ain't nobody sleeping.  It really started when the time changed.  Where Oliver used to walk over to his crib and raise his arms to be lifted in, he now runs out the door as soon as storytime is over, yelling "No!"  Where he used to fuss for five minutes, he now screams and jumps and wails and cries for... two hours, sometimes.  Where he used to sleep through the night until 6:30 (or later), he's now up at least once in the middle of the night (at 11:00 or at 2:00 or at 3:00), and then awake for the day by 5:30.

Last night, I'd had it.  All week we'd been battling at least an hour at bedtime, and then one of us inevitably ended up in Oliver's room (at 11:00 or 2:00 or 3:00) for the rest of the night.  And I know all that's doing is reinforcing that when he cries, he gets what he wants.  So last night, I said No more!  It was Friday night and we had nothing to do today (except cleaning and finishing Christmas errands and grocery shopping and, and, and...)  So I decided that we would not give in.  We would not sleep in the bed in Oliver's room.  He would stay in his crib until 6:00 in the morning.

It took about an hour and a half of five-, ten-, and fifteen-minute check-ins before Oliver finally cried himself to sleep.  After that, even though it was only 9:00, Steve and I went to bed.  And we slept blissfully.  Until 1:48.

I started in with the check-ins again.  In between, I reread an entire sleep book I'd bought the last time we had a really rough patch, just to make sure I was doing it right.

And you know what?  The crying lasted two hours.  Then three.  Then four.  In that time, Oliver climbed out of his crib twice.  (We'll be fixing that issue tonight, perhaps with the crib mattress flat on the floor, as it's on its lowest setting.) 

I take it back, it wasn't all crying.  It was mostly whining.  Interspersed with moments of silence.  And then it would ramp back up into crying, and if I happened to check in on him, he would immediately be calmed, but he would not lay down.  And then, if I backed away or (god forbid) left the room, he would wail and scream and jump up and down.  Then that would slowly taper down into the whining, and the cycle would start all over.  And never, not once in those four hours, do I think Oliver laid down.

Around 6:00, I put on the audio recording of The Polar Express, because Liam Neeson's voice is rather soothing.  I sat down against the crib, and Oliver was able to reach my hair through the bars.  He sat down and played with my hair, and then he laid down.  And before long, he was snoring.  I, on the other hand, was pretty wide awake still.

That lasted all of about fifteen minutes, before he was awake and crying again.

By that time, it was 6:30.  I was exhausted.  Since my goal had been in the crib until 6am, I decided to let him lay in the bed with me.  I was almost asleep with Oliver curled up against my back when he suddenly climbed on top of me and looked over into my face.

"Ma!" he said.

"Yes, Oliver," I mumbled.  "Go to sleep."  It was almost 7:00.

"Da!"  He was standing then, and pointing at the door.  He climbed right over me, and then turned around and found my hand under the blankets.  Together, we walked out of his room.  He knocked on our bedroom door, then let himself in and ran over to the bed where Dad was asleep.  "Da!"

In he went.  In I went.  Steve, most likely awake, didn't move.  Oliver curled up between us and was snoring within minutes.

Finally zonked after a long and sleepless night.

He slept until 8:15.

And I decided, in those long and sleepless hours, that I would call a sleep coach.  It might not make sense to start anything right before Christmas, when our schedule will be all messed up anyway, but that is going to be my Christmas present to our family.  Hopefully better sleep.

3 + 1 = 4

I'm fairly certain that everyone who reads this blog already knows, but just in case... we're expecting Baby #2 next spring!

We'll find out tomorrow at my 20 week ultrasound if it's a girl or a boy.

Most definitely due to the distraction of life with an active toddler, this pregnancy almost doesn't feel real.  I'm surprised every time I feel the baby move.  If it's a boy, we won't need anything, really.  Their birthdays will only be about two weeks apart, so all of Oliver's clothes, assuming similar sized babies, will be seasonally appropriate.  If it's a girl, all we'll need is clothing.  All of our gear is still in perfect condition.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of planning involved, other than preparing Oliver.  I don't think he understands quite yet.

We'll have to move eventually, since our little condo is only a two-bedroom, but I decided early on that I wasn't even going to think about that until after the baby is born.  As much as I loved our sleep set-up with Oliver--sleeping in the extra bed in his room so he was always used to that space--it'll be fine to have the baby in a bassinet in our room for a while.  And then, eventually, they can share.

(To be honest, I'm not altogether sure on this toddler-and-infant-sharing-a-room idea, but it's far less stressful to me than trying to buy a house, sell a condo, and pack up and move, so it'll have to fly for now.)

So.  There it is.  Oliver will be a big brother in way less time than I keep thinking.

(From the looks of it, he's not all that jazzed about it.)

Halloweeeeeen

I figured I should post Halloween pictures before mid-November and the Christmas Crush.  Just squeaking in under the wire here.  (Holiday music starts tomorrow on our local radio station.)

The only TV show Oliver is remotely interested in these days is Dinosaur Train on PBS, so we decided a dinosaur was the way to go this year.  I found a couple tutorials online, one on making a tail and one on making a dino jacket, tweaked them a little, and voila!

Oliver's school had a Halloween parade and classroom trick-or-treating, so I took an early lunch and went over.  Of course, like I predicted, as soon as I was there, Oliver wanted me to hold him.  Or, at least hold his hand.  In order to get pictures, I had to dash a few feet away, which resulted in most of the pictures having him looking all sad.  He wasn't sad.  He was having a great time, but you'd never know it!

Testing out the tail

Happy when being held!

Mmm, mini pumpkins...

Cutest dinosaur.

Why'd you leave me?

And why'd you sit me here?

Pick me up, Mom!  Pleeeeease?

Don't leave me to trick or treat alone!

That evening, since trick-or-treating isn't big in our neighborhood, we went to the community center's Halloween Carnival.  It was $1 each to get in (once Oliver's two, it'll leap to $4) and there were bouncers for both big and little kids, carnival games for big and little kids, face painting, the high school marching band leading the costume parade, a magic show (which we didn't watch), a (tiny) trick-or-treat village, and food (which we never found, but weren't looking for).  We met up with a few mom-friends, and it was a good way to spend the evening!

Hanging with Dad

Bean bag "put" -- Oliver's first carnival game!

Oliver's first carnival prize: a top

Halloween's exhausting!

All in all, a fun day.  Oliver was more interested in the inflatable, robotic Halloween characters in the trick-or-treat village than the candy, so he didn't get any.  We didn't buy any since we weren't planning to be home, and daycare's classroom trick-or-treating was all mini pretzels and goldfish crackers, so it was a pleasantly non-sugar-high holiday.  I don't imagine they'll all be like this, but I appreciated it while I could. 

 

Happy Halloween!

18 Months

Dear Oliver,

You've been out twice as long as you were in!  18 months really sounds a lot more toddler-y than baby.

Let's see.

You're not a big talker, still, but you are getting better and better at communicating.  You don't say "no" (which I suppose I should be glad of), but you definitely shake your head when you don't want something.  You point a lot, both when you're interested in something (the bird flying by, the tree, the neighbor) and when you want something in particular.  You wave hello and goodbye, usually with a huge smile on your face.  You sign more correctly and often, all done, clean up (sometimes), milk, eat, again, and most recently, please.  You have a sign for water, or maybe thirsty, which is one finger pointing into your mouth.

Not a smile to be had that day...

You've also started throwing your hands up in... bewilderment?  It's adorable.  For example, we were walking Chloe, and you were holding her leash.  She pulled it out of your hands.  You stopped where you were, threw your hands out, palms up, and your jaw dropped.  You just stared at her, and then at us, as if you couldn't believe what had happened.

Words.  I'm going to admit right now that I've talked to your pediatrician about this, because you really don't say a lot.  You can't blame me for being (a little bit) worried.  We read to you every night, we name things around us, we talk to you, we ask you to repeat what we say (you don't).  I've been told "normal" for 18 months is between 5 and 50 words, which is a pretty big spread.  If you don't gain words over the next few months, that's when we'll look into more.  But until then, this is what you say:
- Waaah-ter, which only sometimes has the ter part, and is always accompanied by that finger pointing into your mouth.
- Bah, ball.
- Dada, Dad
- Mama, Mom
- Nana, Banana.  You would eat three bananas a day if we'd let you.  I would venture to say that they are your favorite food, even.
- Uh-oh, ALL THE TIME.  "Uh oh," I threw food on the floor.  "Uh oh," the ball went over there.  "Uh oh," that paper didn't need to be on the table.  And so on.
- Woof, Dog. And you click your tongue for Cat.
- Ba, Bird.
- Buh-ball, Bubbles. A favorite game.
- Ah-da! All done!  Said along with the sign.
- Whoa and Wow! Appropriately.

Back to walking Chloe.  It's your New Favorite Thing.  You want to carry the leash all the time.  And you know what?  She's good with you.  She doesn't pull (that one time aside), and if we remind her to slow down, she sticks with you.  I think that will be your first chore.

You're loving your new daycare.  Your teachers tell me how far you've come over these past two months.  You loooove art!  They told us that you're now the first one to the table and the last one to leave.  You love the sensory table, you love playing outside, and you love eating.  Pretty much, you love everything you do at school.

1.5 going on 16

The one little issue we're dealing with is hitting.  When things don't go your way, you hit the closest thing.  Maybe it's the wall or the floor or a chair, or maybe it's me, or the dog or cat, or another toddler.  We're working on it.  We're working on gentle hands and no hitting and redirecting your attention.

SLEEP.  I know my bad habits have become your bad habits.  I nursed you to sleep for fourteen months, and then for three more I laid in the Big Bed with you and let you play with my hair until you nodded off.  And you really don't sleep through the night.  You wake up usually once, sometimes more.  What would I do? I'd put you back in the Big Bed and sleep the rest of the night in there with you.  I love your snuggles!  And it was easy to get back to sleep that way, for both of us.  But it wasn't doing either of us any favors.

A few weeks ago, we cracked.  We finally did some sleep training.  The first night, you cried for 35 minutes with us checking in on you every five.  The second night, you cried for three minutes, and when I checked in on you at five, you lifted your head, I said "Goodnight," and you laid back down.  The third night, you whimpered for about ten seconds, and that was that.

Now, you still have been waking up at least once, but all it takes is for one of us to go in and ask you to lay back down, and you do.  A little back rubbing and you're asleep.  By our next update, I hope to report that even that doesn't happen anymore.  Fingers crossed!

You are a Boy with Bumps and Bruises.  You took a couple trips while holding something in your hands, which you did not drop, and thus face-planted.  Right into the street during AIDS Walk (you came away with some nice road rash on your forehead), and into the sidewalk a few days later.  You've had skinned knees, and once you clotheslined yourself on Chloe's leash while you were playing with her and got a nice, thin rope burn across your neck. 

You are a joy and a snuggle bug.  You run full-speed into my arms for a big hug. You play with my hair when you're tired or sad.  You make hilarious faces.  You figure things out.  You climb.  You stack things.  You're an awesome kid.

Happy 18 months (and 11 days).

Love,

Mom

Today, this.

Today, Oliver is 18 months old. A proper update post will follow, but until then, this.

Oliver was awake in the middle of the night. Again. As usual. I thought for sure by twelve months, fifteen months, eighteen months, we'd all be getting a full night's sleep.

Oliver was awake in the middle of the night, so he spent the last hours sleeping on the bed in the nursery instead of the crib.

6:18 am. Not a sound through the monitor, but suddenly the nursery door opens. A moment later, a mop of messy blond hair appears in my doorway. I can't see his face under his bowed, sleepy head and behind two fists grinding sleep out of his eyes. He comes over to me, fists still working, and just leans against me for a moment. Then he looks up, smiling, and reaches for me to pick him up for a good morning snuggle. We sit in the chair, Oliver on my lap, leaning against my chest. I bury my nose in his hair and breathe him in.

And then he wants to go downstairs, but is content to snuggle up against my side, under my arm, and play with my hair absently with one hand (not tugging), sucking his other thumb, while we watch the local news together.

These are some of my favorite moments. And to think, eighteen months ago, I couldn't have imagined it.

Camping Lake Casitas

Earlier this year, two of my "mommy group" friends and I decided it would be fun to take our boys (and our men) camping.  None of us had been camping in ages, none of us had the necessary equipment or knowledge of the best place to go, so we started researching.  We discovered a campground with a lake that was only about an hour away, and we managed to find a weekend (in September... this was back in June we were doing the planning) we were all free.  Huzzah!

So, we booked it.  And then we found out you can't swim in the lake there.  Bummer!  But!  They have a small water park. 

And then we found out the water park's season ends Labor Day weekend.  Gah!

And then we realized the weekend would be the hottest of the entire year, with temperatures over 100 degrees for several days straight (up to 109 forecast at the campground early this week.) 

Oh, and there's the part where two of us were going to rent the campsites, and we planned to rent M15 and M16.  Two weeks ago, I realized I'd accidentally rented M5, and M15 was no longer available when I called to switch.  So I moved both of us to G6 and G7, which turned out to be an excellent move!  Our two sites had plenty of shade, and as we drove by M15 and M16 while trying to get the kids to nap in the car, neither of them had any shade at all.

We survived with an inflatable swimming pool (does having your own swimming pool become borderline glamping?), and actually had a really good time! 

Here, have some pictorial evidence:

The view from inside our tent.

Sleeping "late".

Chloe came too!

Early morning exploring.

There was a playground right across the way!

This box is pretty comfortable...

Pool time!

Water is the best!

Relaxing with Dad.

Sunset by the lake.

So pretty!

Steve built some great fires.

Sunrise over the lake.

Early morning walk.

Can we get in the pool one last time?

Sweet Home Chicago

A few weeks ago, we took a trip to Chicago.  We went for my sister's wedding, but visited for the entire week before, which was wonderful.

We mostly hung out with family.  We went to the Chicago Children's Museum (lots of fun!), and to the playground around the corner from my parents' house... a lot. (Somehow, no pictures from there!) Oliver had a great time playing on the play structure we had when we were kids, too.

And, of course, the wedding.  The beautiful, wonderful wedding.  It looked like the outdoor ceremony might get rained (stormed) out, but it dried up just in the nick of time!  Oliver made it down the aisle, the bride was gorgeous, and everyone had a good time. 

 Here are some pictures from the trip.

Hanging out with Grandpa

On the tree swing Grandpa adapted

Loved climbing our old playset!

Swinging with Daddy

Firemen exhibit at the Children's Museum

Dino Dig

Fun in the jungle!

The water room was the BEST.

Seriously, the best.

Admiring the skyline

Painting with water.  (Dad helped.)

Treehouse room!

FIRST rain storm!

Rain is awesome.

Rehearsal - Steve in Grandpa Jim's bowtie

Up, Mom?

Walkin' down the aisle

The Fabulous Married Couple!

Bridesmaids

Hiiii!!!

That was a fun party!